November 18, 2010 at 3:49 pm #15298
I hope this is in the right spot. I’m in the middle of week 4 and I am loving it. The reading deprivation rocks (I have decided that sharing TAW experiences once a day is more like being part of a circle rather than reading). I am discovering the blessing of space between all that noise and am understanding myself better. But that’s not what I wanted to share. I just loved the activities about writing a letter from your 80 year old self and 8 year old self. I thought I might share them because I discovered an optimism in my writing (I did them instead of MPs this morning).
Dear Herby, I am 80 now and I want you to know some things to help you be happy when you are here and on your way here. Firstly, you are happy at 80 and you had fun getting here.
Love your wife with all your heart and soul. You will be happy with her and she with you. You are so good together and the years will only make you stronger. She is perfect for you and you for her. Don’t ever let her go again.
Stop searching and yearning. Life is what it is. Enjoy the moments that you have. Don’t wish them to be different. Sure – dream. And dream big. But stop yearning for the unknown because your life is already wonderful.
Let go of the crushes. They can never be. When you get one, recognise it, own it, tell her and leave. Don’t be friends. Don’t obsess. Don’t fantasise. Learn the lesson your infatuation is reflecting back onto your life. Be grateful and move on.
Relax! Life is so much fun. Stop to smell the flowers. Taste your meals. Experience silence. Dream. Imagine. Smile. Laugh. When you need to cry, do it. And then let it pass because you have more joy in your life than sadness.
You will never be fully male in the anatomical sense. Accept that. It will torment you until you learn to let it go. It doesn’t make you inferior. You are always going to be a fantastic lover, even without a penis. You know the secret: focus on her pleasure. Your body will never change but that is okay. You are unique and that is part of what makes you so wonderful.’
Keep exploring and stay fit. If you don, you will be out on adventures at an age when many give up. And keep learning because you will never settle for a lifelong career.
You have created a beautiful, solid and stable foundation for your future. The next 50 (well, 49) years will be awesome! Just get out there and live every moment of them.
Love from your 80 year old self.November 18, 2010 at 3:55 pm #15299
Dear Herby, I am so glad that you got to change your name to a real boy’s name. It’s a cool name. I love your motorbike. Can you take me for a ride on it one day? Motorbikes are so cool.
Wow! Did you really play sport for Australia? That is so awesome. I never knew there was a sport where I could do swimming and biking and running all at once. That’s amazing. I’m so glad you did that. Was it fun to be a national champion? Was it fun to go on a plane with your pushbike? Did everyone cheer your name?
I hope you are still working with Mummy’s work like you used to. Oh, you are. That’s really kowabunga dude. Remember how she pays us 20c to stuff envelopes. Remember how we sort videos together, all of us as a family. I like that you work with mum and dad and my sisters. I hope you have fun together.
Don’t forget that you like the slidey sock game. Running and sliding down the hallway is so much fun. Don’t crash into the wall though. Make sure you play it with your sisters again sometimes. We all laugh so much when we play it. They will like it.
I can’t believe you can ride a horse! And you once had your own horse. That is amazing! I wish you still took me riding sometimes. It must have been so much fun.
You sound like you’ve had an awesome life. I hope you keep having a fun time. You seem like a very brave and cool person. Write me a story one day because I like your stories.
Love your 8 year old self.
The purpose of sharing is that I realised after I wrote these letters that I love my life and that my 8 and 80 year old selves would be proud of my life. Sometimes it’s important to share positive stories and positive experiences because maybe they will resonate with other people who might also add their stories to the discussion.
Were your 8 and 80 year old selves proud of you? Were they optimistic? Did they point you in directions that you never consciously thought about?November 18, 2010 at 4:39 pm #15300
Herby, your 80-year-old is one brave and open dude!November 18, 2010 at 5:45 pm #15301
affirming the bravery and radical self acceptance in you Herby.
found a lot in this exercise for myself too.
can use the technique continuously (even in morning pages is a daily kind of letter to myself) and it is kind of fitting to talk about this here since it reminds our self of where the power really is. we fool ourselves all the time by blaming circumstances outside us, and we lose our power to the extent that we look outside our self for something to “save” us. i think it is right for you to find the gold inside as you take responsibility to be a wonderful lover.
* as i edit a few mistakes from the lyrics of the song (i listened to it last night and noticed the errors i copied from a web site- listen to the song- it has a most incredibly beautiful female voice singing the part, ‘before you say goodbye’). i also had on my mind to add to my post some thoughts about loving. i was taught by my mother and also by a man who was like a father to me that the most important sexual organ is the mind. my spiritual lessons agree by teaching me that the mind that loves never dies.
send yourself cards in the mail too- you will be surprised and touched when it arrives.
i have recently been using crests that look like royal banners, as visual aids- to remind me of the noble and high calling to life, and its incredible and sometimes unknown possibilities.
furthermore- a band wrote a song called letter to myself. it really reached me and encouraged me to not give up on myself, to reach in for that inner self who loves to help…here are the lyrics.
Letter To Myself lyrics
I already know how you’ve been
because I am within You.
As existence or conscience, or ideas
Whatever makes makes you me, but I love to help
Please rely on me before you say “Goodbye”
Before you say “goodbye” should I say “goodbye”?
Anyways I wish the best
Take a look inside of me
There’s no words I can write to know what it’s like
So read on intently
You will face a number of disturbing thoughts
yelling matches and culture shocks
Truth is fiction, a lot of confusion
Maybe some addictions, but don’t give up
Oh yeah, it gets worse
All the way to the nursing home
Memories are spilling
Actual lies, surprise, it’s unfulfiling
Trust me on this
No crime is as bad as meaninglessness
Your will will wither
And intense fear may begin to flutter
In the pit where the butterflies fly
Before you you say “goodbye”
The truth of it is that there are a lot of miracles in medicine
You will get to know them well
Well haven’t you grown?
Now on your own
Independence was the goal, now you miss home and sick
A relationship may save you or enslave you
Count on both to happen
Trapped in decisions, wrapped in ambiguity
You and me unfashion (should say unfasten) the answers with action
I’m behind your passion for life
I don’t want you cash in yet
It’s to easy to be content with with apathy
And disbelief in even me
I’d love to help, so please rely on me
Before you say ‘goodbye”
MeNovember 19, 2010 at 3:42 am #15302
oh Herby and Jeff both your posts have touched my heart so much im sat here wih tears pouring down my cheeks , i love your openess and your sensitivity.
Herby you are so brave writing those letters and i admire and respect you so much for sharing , i put off writing them just for my eyes .
Jeff thats a strong song ” Its so easy to be content with apathy ” oh yes i agree with that – change is scary and difficult at times even when staying locked out from your soul hurts .
Messing around with the word apathy and how it can change
maybe thats where apathy leads – thy path .
love and peace flowergirlNovember 19, 2010 at 10:15 am #15303
i needed to get myself to by on my own team, and to stop kicking myself off of it. this song kind of spoke to me and said, here is your inner self that has a few things to say before you give up… I like to help, so rely on me.November 19, 2010 at 6:39 pm #15304
Thanks for reading my letters 🙂
Jeff – I love those song lyrics. They are great. And think I might start sending myself cards too 🙂
Flowergirl – the letters were a really wonderful activity. Why are you putting them off? (I ask that in a supportive not judgmental way) Could it be that you will be surprised at how positive your 80 and 8 year old selves are about your current self? I was surprised at the positives I was able to give myself by putting them in another voice.
Horsewings – my 31 year old self is quite open too .. it gets me in trouble sometimes because some people think I should keep that part of me secret … but I just say ‘phooey’ to them and tell them that if they can’t accept me being open about it they better think about whether they really accept me 😉November 20, 2010 at 5:02 am #15305
hi Herby ,im not sure why i put them off , i often avoid looking inwards but am fed up feeling stuck in this depression and know the way out is to look inwards and move forwards ,bit mixed up at the moment .Love and peace flowergirlNovember 20, 2010 at 6:26 am #15306
*hugs* for flowergirl. Sending you strength 🙂November 20, 2010 at 11:20 am #15307
thanks Herby ,might have a go at them tomorow ,i put off a couple of tasks in earlier weeks and found them very helpfull ,love and peace flowergirl
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